NOW I'M ROCKIN DOUBLE DUECES!

Yesterday the number 21 left me and the new number of 22 arrived. It arrived and gave me a dumb confusion. I was confused because of all the mixed feelings about it. It was one of the first times where the number 22 just brought something with it that made me feel different. It wasn't maturity, and while it did make me feel older that wasn't the primary feeling. It was a feeling of insecurity. An insecurity not involving my future or plans for the future, but an insecurity with the people around me that I call friends. Each and every person is different. Each and every person has not only their own life to live but bring something different. And as my belief in friendship is constantly challenged by those who shall remain nameless, through each attack, I struggle with it more and more to hold on to who I am and what I believe in. First of all, to me, Understanding is key to any and every relationship, whether is friends, lovers, parental, or sibling, etc. So with that in mind, you have to be understanding of a person's situation and how they are and accept who they are. Not just their perfections but their imperfections because they can be perfected through your friendship with you. Second of all, after applying that understanding, give your best to them and impart in them who you are and how you live because a good person who is friends with a bad person, and by this example I am not saying one of friends is a bad person but, the good person can change that person and make them better. And last, you must be accepting of that person's wrongs and failures until you feel that they are no longer being a friend. And this point has always been debateable and it is a point that even I dont know very well. But it is a point that for one thing I know of is different for each person. For me, that border is very loose not only because of the history of my past but also because of my future. So, while I may be more of a 80/20 or 70/30 among my friends, most of my friends aren't as blessed as I am when it comes to where they are right now. Now, I am not saying they aren't as christian as me, or dont live to the standards or none of that. When I say not as blessed as me, I mean, some don't have a loving, understanding parent, some didn't have both of their parents when they were kids, some don't siblings that were there to be there for each other, and other things. So, while I may be the foundation that holds the glue together and be seen as a therapist, I see it as nothing more than life and being something I never had. When I needed a friend to talk to, I didnt have that. Not that, I didnt have friends to tell, but I didnt have friends who would see my situation as serious and be understanding to hear me out. Most likely they give me some much not needed advice and answer it as if it was a stupid question to them. So, while it can be troublesome at times to be putting so much into my friendships, as the Lord teaches me, you reap what you sow, if you plant good then you reap good, if you plant bad then you reap bad. Now I am not doing this just to get good benefit but I do this because I love them from the bottom of my heart. I love all of my friends because within them, I see a small part of myself. So I treat them, as if I was seeing myself in the same situation and giving advice to them. So I will continue to hold onto my belief in my friends and let my determination show how passionate I am about how you treat people you dont know and people you do know. Because no two are more worthy of good treatment. So I shall step into my own calling of ministry this year and continue my ministry of friendship and hold true to my beliefs. Because while some of my friends can't give as much as others see fit, the little bit I get from them is more than the 20% others see. I love you all and I pray we are always connected.