Wednesday, January 28, 2009


I thought about writting this on friday but hey, why wait? Starting this week, I am undergoing a transformation. Not a spiritual enlightment or anything but literally a transformation. I want to reshape, remold, and upgrade my body. So, with that said, as you've probably have guessed, I'm working out and training in the gym. Why? My purpose behind this, for starters, is to get back that "old feeling" that I miss so much. That old feeling is the feeling of being in shape. When I was a kid, I played sports year round. I played baseball in the summer, soccer in the fall and spring, and basketball in the winter. And my fondest memory is when I was in the best shape of my life when I was playing soccer as a kid. Back then, I loved to run. I could run 12 laps at the beginning of practice, get in trouble in the middle of practice and run an extra three laps and still not be totally beat and full of energy. Not to mention, my speed was amazing back then. My best friend from my early childhood, was the fastest kid in the neighborhood, well my neighborhood. And when I was at my best, I couldn't beat him, but I could tie or lag by like one to two seconds. And it made me feel great. Since my discouragement of early retirement from sports at 9th grade in high school, I haven't so much as attempted to run, let alone play a sport seriously. So, my purpose is to try to get that old feeling back. So I have three goals, in order of most serious to less serious, the first is this. I want to get back in shape and be able to run. I want to be able to take off without getting out of breath like two blocks down the road. The second is to strengthen my legs. My legs have always been the weakest thing about me and I feel like it's held me back for so long that it's time to change that. The last thing, which isn't really a total locked on target but more so a hit or miss, is my weight. Before I started, my weight was 209lbs and I get the feeling I don't look like I weigh that much. But that's how much I weigh and if possible, I want to get back down to at least 190lbs. The workout I do, is going to be intense and I'm making sure I'm constantly pushing myself, because honestly it's been about a decade since I've worked out or trained my body this seriously. So it's practically starting all over again, as if I've never been in shape at any time in my life. So, I want to push myself. Now I don't mean going to the extreme to something I can't do like running 1,000 miles or doing 500 crunches. I just mean exactly as I said, pushing myself, not taking it too light because I've been taking it too light for far too long. So, my workout plan, right now, is I jog for a mile (which is equal to 8 laps in the fitness center), after stretching of course, and then I bike for ten minutes so I cool down properly and don't tighten up. Then I do a set of 10 adominal crunches on the weight machine and then I do a set of 25 arm lifts on the weight machine. Then I repeat the bike, adominal crunches and arm lifts to do three sets total and stretch again to finish up. I just finished doing this today and I feel INVINCIBLE! It feels so good to work out like this, pushing my body to reshape, remold it, and just upgrade my muscles and body overall. It feels so good. I love doing this and I pray that I end up continuing all through the semester and until I graduate. Right now my schedual is every Monday, Wednesday and Friday after lunch. But I will continue to report my progress because I don't plan on doing this always. Once I get used to this regiment, it will change and I'll make it tougher. And it will only get harder and harder! So, if you don't see me much, (or at all), don't be surprised if the next time you see me, I got bazookas for arms!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Dream Is Over....Wake Up!

My brothers and sisters, this generation have not felt the slash of whips crack against our bare skin. This generation didn't have to cook, clean and work for a master that would rape our women and kill the offspring. This generation didn't live through the stories of slavery. So even though we are physically detached, emotionally we are all connected through the thoughts and knowledge that our ancestors and our great great great grandparents went through it. But is the mere knowledge of knowing we had no part in it, seperate you enough to detach from knowing your race? I dare not bare to think of the mind that you have lost, where hundreds of thousands can rally for your escape from jail, for you to only end up right back inside, your cousin to be slain by injustice and no one to turn to look back at the blood spilled across the ground in vain. My generation, my people, don't be fools! Bury not the bodies of our race, bury not the bodies of those who hurt you but embrace them in a love that can't be explained but can only be known as the love of God. Remove yourself from the streets, remove yourself from death itself, because he isn't your friend! Your friend will encourage you to get up and leave to do something positive with your life, not hold you down to killing not only your spirit but bringing death's claws to your neck to choke the physical life out of you! How dare you listen to the whispers of greed and injustice! How dare you throw away what history has brought us from? Don't look for me to become a leader among us, for us, because I'm simply one guy standing. In order for others to stand, in order for a leader to be elected, we must all stand or no one will stand at all. Because a leader isn't someone smooth with words, a leader isn't someone who can take a hit, a leader is someone who rises among the crowd and stands out among everyone! I am no leader and I don't lead the charge but rather I speak these words to push your heart, move your soul, and guide your destiny to greatness because inside you is a piece of our perished leaders. He lives inside us and has always been with us, so WAKE UP! Stop dreaming for a dreamer because the Dream is over! Now, we must push forward for a new dream, where the word injustice is buried along with nigga. Where the word, hate is buried, where murder is buried, where war is buried because we can't sit in silence any longer. We can no longer sit and look at each other, wondering who will stand, but stand up and be willing to stand even when no one else will.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

President Obama....or....?

Through the cold winds, the bitter cold, the sore back and feet from walking, the lack of crowd control on the metro, and only one restaurant on the waterfront, President Obama was sworn in and became the Nation's First Black with his Black First Lady. Unfortunately for me, it wasn't as emotional as those who lived through the segregation, who lived through the assasination of Martin Luther King Jr, Malcolm X, and JFK. It wasn't as emotional for those who experienced a full racist enviornment, or went through bigotry, sexism, and other forms of hate. For me it was a momentous occassion as I title, "when fate, destiny, and history had a threesome". And I say that because it was his destiny for him to become the President, fated to happen, and now history written. But after all the flags have waved, all the digital film or memory used up, and the last tears of joy have been shed, we acknowledge a sense of formality with him but with his open arms we take President Obama into a side note. What do we call him? As I've been typing, President Obama, it was on my drive back home early yesterday morning, when I was listening to the radio on Tom Joyner's station and someone had called in and said, "we need to establish a sense of formality with him because even when Bush was in office he was called President Bush." And Tom Joyner countered with, "well part of that is his falt because when he was on the radio on monday, I said good morning President Obama and he responded saying What's up brah?" One thing that is definitely an Obama first, is his friendliness with the people. Usually when we think of the President we think first of Secret Service, the security guards, the FBI, CIA, and other list of people that work around the clock guarding the President. So we feel distanced from him already, not even adding to how the former presidents weren't even as open and friendly as Barack is. So the formality came out as a natural response to the way the President carried himself. But Obama comes off and leaves a mark inside of you that makes you feel like he was your best friend that you grew up with or your close neighbor that lives next door, or maybe even a relative. But all in all, it feels wrong to call our President by title and not by first name basis. Not to take away anything from him of his accomplishments or anything of that sort, but I personally feel so close to the President that if I saw him, I'd probably have to bite my tongue to prevent saying Barack Obama and Michelle, and instead say President Obama and First Lady Michelle.

Thursday, January 15, 2009


Yesterday the number 21 left me and the new number of 22 arrived. It arrived and gave me a dumb confusion. I was confused because of all the mixed feelings about it. It was one of the first times where the number 22 just brought something with it that made me feel different. It wasn't maturity, and while it did make me feel older that wasn't the primary feeling. It was a feeling of insecurity. An insecurity not involving my future or plans for the future, but an insecurity with the people around me that I call friends. Each and every person is different. Each and every person has not only their own life to live but bring something different. And as my belief in friendship is constantly challenged by those who shall remain nameless, through each attack, I struggle with it more and more to hold on to who I am and what I believe in. First of all, to me, Understanding is key to any and every relationship, whether is friends, lovers, parental, or sibling, etc. So with that in mind, you have to be understanding of a person's situation and how they are and accept who they are. Not just their perfections but their imperfections because they can be perfected through your friendship with you. Second of all, after applying that understanding, give your best to them and impart in them who you are and how you live because a good person who is friends with a bad person, and by this example I am not saying one of friends is a bad person but, the good person can change that person and make them better. And last, you must be accepting of that person's wrongs and failures until you feel that they are no longer being a friend. And this point has always been debateable and it is a point that even I dont know very well. But it is a point that for one thing I know of is different for each person. For me, that border is very loose not only because of the history of my past but also because of my future. So, while I may be more of a 80/20 or 70/30 among my friends, most of my friends aren't as blessed as I am when it comes to where they are right now. Now, I am not saying they aren't as christian as me, or dont live to the standards or none of that. When I say not as blessed as me, I mean, some don't have a loving, understanding parent, some didn't have both of their parents when they were kids, some don't siblings that were there to be there for each other, and other things. So, while I may be the foundation that holds the glue together and be seen as a therapist, I see it as nothing more than life and being something I never had. When I needed a friend to talk to, I didnt have that. Not that, I didnt have friends to tell, but I didnt have friends who would see my situation as serious and be understanding to hear me out. Most likely they give me some much not needed advice and answer it as if it was a stupid question to them. So, while it can be troublesome at times to be putting so much into my friendships, as the Lord teaches me, you reap what you sow, if you plant good then you reap good, if you plant bad then you reap bad. Now I am not doing this just to get good benefit but I do this because I love them from the bottom of my heart. I love all of my friends because within them, I see a small part of myself. So I treat them, as if I was seeing myself in the same situation and giving advice to them. So I will continue to hold onto my belief in my friends and let my determination show how passionate I am about how you treat people you dont know and people you do know. Because no two are more worthy of good treatment. So I shall step into my own calling of ministry this year and continue my ministry of friendship and hold true to my beliefs. Because while some of my friends can't give as much as others see fit, the little bit I get from them is more than the 20% others see. I love you all and I pray we are always connected.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

In the Past....

In a random thought, I began to think deeply on why do we get along so well with people? Why do we see things and become enticed by them? Why do some things just cry out to us as if we've been there or done it before? Did we have past lives? And if we did, then who were our friends? Who were our lovers? Who were our family? Well, one idea occured to me, and that idea was what if the people you were close friends with, were in your past lives, lovers or spouses? I thought this because there's always people you meet and become friends with and even though the two of you aren't dating, you both mutually share a deep connection that's hard to describe or put a solid definition on. You know each others likes/dislikes, you know how the person thinks and can finish each others thoughts. But most of all, there's such a high attraction there that the two of you could rip each other apart. However, the one thing that stops you, if not the key understanding that it could only remain friendship to not confuse the emotions and lead each other on to something drastic, is the fact that one of you isn't single and are respecting the relationship(s) present. But wouldn't it be weird to just even wonder, that in the past, your closest friends could have been your girl/boyfriend or even your husband/wife? Or maybe even one of your family members? Or maybe the genders was switched. Maybe you weren't the man but the woman and vice versus. No one can honestly say what truely happens after we leave this world and move on from here. But one thing is for sure, life goes on, both in this world and the next. But is there truely a sense of rebirth? Because it has often been known for history to repeat. So does this repition come from the repeated souls being entered and leaving this world? Or did it come from the repition of making similar like souls. So while it wouldn't actually be you but someone just like you. This could then indeed play into the belief of there being a twin to everyone or a parallel like world created by the different possible decisions you make everyday. So then maybe it's not a past life that we feel but a shared sense of emotions coming from the crossing over of different alternate universes. Like in this life, I'm single and in another, I'm with a close friend from elementary school, in another, I'm dating someone I met in college, etc, etc. So the link between me and my other alternate clones come through the source which is me. But while this post will never go past philosophy and idealistic thoughts, it is definitely safe to say, Only God knows.

Monday, January 5, 2009

What were we thinking....?

You know those moments when you're watching a movie and you point out something that's so unrealistic, it doesn't even seem unrealistic to fit in the movie? Then when you question it, the only thing the person you ask can say is, "its a movie."? Yeah... those are the things that make me read this title over and over in my head. But what really makes me say this title, is how I think back to all of the cartoons we watched as kids. As a kid, I know for me, I was just looking for something I found funny. Didn't really have to make sense, but after my dad started challenging my way of thinking, I began to really see moments in cartoons and other media that made me wonder why I really watched that. First example, Power Rangers, season 1 with the original cast. How is it that the evil witch Rita was able to throw her wand down to Earth from the Moon and not only would it land at just the right moment, but it would somehow magically appear back in her hand? And if the rangers got into their giant robot, how come they could jump that high to get in but they can't jump that high in a regular fight? Another show would be shows like Warner Bros cartoons, you know, Road Runner, Elmer Fudd, those guys! Like one thing that I questioned about is was the Road Runner the only available food for the Coyote? Because if not, then how come he aint getting weaker to the point of starving to death? And why was all the dark colored characters the ones getting blown up and shot? And don't even mention all of the cartoons with the subliminal adult content. Like with double meanings that could reference about a child like humor but also mean something sexual at the same time, like Pepe Lepeu. The sad thing is though, is while the people from my generation see those old chartoons and shows as timeless classics, in some ways, its only one or two upgrades from the so called garbage that's on now. In my honest opinion, shows like Foster and Spongebob, are shows that don't even belong on the tv guide. Usually I always give new shows a chance and when I gave it to Spongebob, I kept thinking, they definitly made this show for people who are 7 and under because the show is so pointless. You have a story of a living sponge that lives in a pineapple under the sea and his best friend is a star fish. The sponge works at a fast food place called Krabby Patties, that for a crab and works with and lives next to a squid. Okay for starters, I have an issue with their being fire underwater, to not only cook the food, but also from the supposedly King Triton guy that can turn his staff into fire. And he can freeze people, underwater. Now I understand that it's a cartoon and it's fictional, but dang man there's got to be fine line between creativity and stupidity. But granted, nothing is worst to me than a show with no purpose but simplistic retarded bad jokes. Like in the show Bobobobo. A show that's supposed to be about a hero that's a black guy with blonde hair and uses his nose hairs to beat up bad guys. Yet every single fight scene I've seen has been nothing but random bad jokes. Like the hero becomming friends in the middle of a finishing move and the hero's friends starting to fight. I swear at times I feel like the show was made for people with A.D.D. But I digress, I guess when it comes to cartoons and other media, it's simply, different strokes for different folks.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

A Sigh of Relief

With the final score of 26-14, the Philadelphia Eagles have moved on to meet their NFC Eastern rivals in the divisional playoffs, the New York Giants. Even though the Eagles was the odds favorite going into the game, they didn't stake a high claim on that during the game in my opinion. As one Eagle fan to another, I only have this to say. For one, no complaints really, because honestly a win is a win. Don't matter if we won by a field goal or gave them a Cowboys mauling style attack of 30+ points. My only concern is how we'll fair against the Giants, next week and most likely in my opinion the Carolina Panthers, which will be a great game and Superbowl worthy testing for the Eagles. Now, in the game, the Vikings definitely stated fairly why they have the number 1 rank in rushing defense. Their defense was amazingly talented and truely worked the Eagles offense, both on the line and on the players, Westbrook and DeSean Jackson. The Eagles offensively were saved in the beginning by the Eagles defense and the huge assist by Asante Samuel for the interception for a touchdown early in the game which gave us a 16 to 7 lead over the Vikings. Because until the last final moments of a defensive war between the two, the Eagles couldn't manage to score 1 touchdown on offense until Brian Westbrook caught a screenpass with the best blocking to assist him in his 71 yrd touchdown in the last six minutes of the fourth quarter to bring the game to 23-14. But the Vikings had managed to push Adrian Peterson into the endzone on two runs, the first for a big 40yrd run in the second. So as the Eagles drives ended with punts, and two turnovers, one fumble and one interception on a forced pass in my opinion, the Eagles leave me in worry if they can handle the Giants. In the Eagles first meeting with the Giants, in my opinion was the start of their downfall in the season which lead to the loss and heart shattering tie to the Bengals. Even though Ironically enough the tie ended up being their saving grace and at the same time noose around their necks, it ended up being more of a blessing than a curse. But in their first meeting, the game to me was more crucial than most probably think because had the Eagles won that game, they would have been in the number one spot at that time in the NFC East and would have more adrenaline to go off after the win to upset the former World Champions. But they unfortunately choked and fell apart. When they met again, they had been revived so to speak by McNabb's benching highlight moment and were able to change their offense plans to incorporate more runs which have made them more effective in their games. So as I think to myself, what are serious needed improvements. TO STAY CALM IN A CRISIS!! The number one thing that makes McNabb fall apart is when something goes wrong and they need a quick touchdown, in like less than 2 mins. Sometimes one. It is during these times, that they always fall short. Like in the redskins game. Came down to one play and one long bomb to the endzone and Reggie Brown just happened to be an inch off the mark of crossing the endzone. Or even in this game in the last seconds of the first half, where previously when the Vikings had just scored their second touchdown, to make the game 16-14 with about 1:56 left. And while on the drive, McNabb notices the defense hasnt finished lining up, and instead of taking the easy completion with the rightside slant coming to the middle on a 3rd and 1, he tries to go deep to Kevin Curtis and ends up overthrowing it into the hands of the Vikings cornerback for the interception, when the Eagles had one time out. So even though we got the ball back, after the Vikings drainned the clock to about 36 secs, we still came up short when Westbrook was able to convert a 3rd down but fell short of the out of bounds line to drain the clock out to prevent a possible 50+ yrd field goal attempt. But with all the hurdles on offense, defense did fantastically well, all things considering, as well as the offense. Truely this Eagle team is strong and a good team, always been a Superbowl team in my opinion, but the verdict is still out with the Giants and the winner of the Panthers and Cardinals. But the true test to see if the Eagles are capable is if they win over the Giants and face the Panthers. Only time will tell but for now, I can sigh with relief that they didn't mess up and played the game, as well as stuck to the plan on offense to end up winning the Wild Card game.